just a memory
by bitterberries
Summary: This moment would never happen anyways. She couldn't feel, hear, or see a single thing, and this day wouldn't make it within her memory. / jerza / fairy tail spoilers - chapter 403


**Rating: T**

**Summary: This moment would never happen anyways. She couldn't feel, hear, or see a single thing, and this day wouldn't make it within her memory.**

**Spoilers ahead. Inspired by chapter 403.**

**Note: its been 83 yrs since a new fic forgive me if it sucks**

**Disclaimer: Hiro Mashima owns Fairy Tail and All of its characters.**

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><p><strong>Just A Memory<strong>

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><p>He just stood there.<p>

Envisioned with a new sense of clarity, he stood questionably on the aged floorboards, faced with the dull color of a seemingly ancient door. When it had not been the guild chatter bursting from the other room that had woke him up, for instead it was the grimacing glare and tired voice of the pink haired woman that took them in, he had initially thought he had done something wrong.

It had only been a few minutes ago. The old lady had towered over the foot of his bed, and an irritation laced expression had played across her features. He had watched it slowly degrade into something soft and pitiful as she stared down at his laying form.

_"You can go see her if you wish," Porlyusica sighed._

So there he was now, standing in front of the doorway, and taking his precious time in the corridor.

_He sat up straight. "How is she?"_

His hand hesitated towards the gold brass knob, but forcibly grasped it out of his returning impatience. With a quick rotation of his wrist, he pushed the barrier and stepped in solemnly.

His eyes landed on her instantly.

_"Alive."_

She was the only inhabitant of a large, widespread bed that was positioned in the middle of the wall to his right. It was somewhat dark in the room; the curtains were only a few inches drawn apart, blocking out the morning and giving only a sliver of brightness. But she was hidden within the gray shadows beyond that same sliver, asleep.

The floorboards creaked. They vibrated loudly under his footsteps, and he did a brief pause in fear of waking her.

But it was _so easy_ to forget the things you didn't want to remember.

No, she wouldn't hear him. But despite the awareness of his mistake, he still shuffled across as lightly as he could anyways, and quietly settled himself on the chair beside her. He took one long glance over her body before his sight rested on her face.

"You look beautiful."

He began imagining what she would say in response. He pictured her flustered reaction, the pink blush that would cover her cheeks, and he grinned to himself.

_Y-You're just saying that, Jellal._

"It's the truth," he mumbled softly, rubbing her fingers with his own. "I can see again, and you do look beautiful. You always do."

The noiseless thump of the pulse in her wrist, mixed in with the faded whistles of her calm breathing gave him comfort. Every time her chest rose up, her head sunk a little deeper into the pillow, and every ten minutes or so she would stir against the sheets, occasionally muttering incoherent single words like she was dreaming, but immediately go back to the way she originally was after.

Jellal smiled, and gripped her hand a little tighter.

Needless to say, he was trying his hardest to ignore the bandages.

The raw bruises.

The paleness of her skin.

The sudden somberness in the color of her hair.

The fragility in her movements.

His back became slightly hunched over. He leaned so his elbows touched his knees, and so his lips were closer to her hand.

This moment would never happen anyways. She couldn't feel, hear, or see a single thing, and this day wouldn't make it within her memory.

So he kissed it.

And when he finally pulled away, he ventured out of his chair to place another fast, yet desperate kiss on her forehead, and then another on her cheek. He didn't even think about it. It just happened. Grunting slightly, he fell back into the seat, and instinctively covered the bottom portion of his face with her hand, not knowing what to do anymore.

"What I would do to make things better, really," he whispered. "It's still hard to wrap my mind around what happened…you're okay, I'm so glad you're okay…b-but—

"—But you're still _hurt_. I know you can't hear me but _hell_ seeing you like this…I'm _so sorry_ I wasn't there to protect you in time…

His emerald eyes flew across her form once more, and he felt his heart drop. He recalled every specific detail from that day; from the anguished screams to the fresh taste of blood on his tongue. His mind longed to clear the dreaded hour, but it was futile.

Jellal huffed shakily. "You're strong enough to overcome this…I-I know you are…so I'm asking you now…"

He put down her hand and bent forward again, raising his mouth to her ear and without hesitance, pleaded to her with a crack in his voice.

"I'm begging you…_please come back to me_."

In that moment, her eyes had fluttered open. She yawned, but he only flinched for a millisecond before staying dead still, watching her from the side as she began to twist and move gently, her wide chocolate orbs burning with confusion.

Again, it was instinctive.

Her name came out in a low murmur.

"Erza?"

When he got no answer, it was then, it was at that point that he finally broke. He collapsed, letting his already weakening composure fall into pieces altogether.

Erza laid back more comfortably in bed, shifting and gazing as he cried silently. It seemed like the redhead was waiting for something, but ultimately she didn't utter a single word.

After only a few minutes, he grabbed her face gingerly and tried to meet her misguided stare. "I love you Erza," Jellal started up again, immediately connecting his lips with her dry ones.

There was nothing.

Just pure silence.

"Of _fucking_ course," he breathed once he released, resting his head against hers. The mage stared into her brown eyes, water dripping onto her cheek, and the profound clarity he once had had turned blurry. "The one time I say that I love you, you can't hear anything. And the one time that I kiss you, you can't feel it."

He failed to see the tears cascading down her face.

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><p>note: IT HAS BEEN MONTHS so i'm a little rusty with ma skills bear with it please<p> 


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